August 1, 2011

Merciful heavens, if it isn’t the last day of the month again and only five hours from August! Not only am I blown away by the sentence I just wrote, especially the part about it being nearly AUGUST already (wasn’t it just Christmas about two weeks ago?) I’m amazed at my procrastinating self for leaving this most beloved of monthly duties to the very last few hours. AGAIN! What is that about? If I didn’t like doodling, I wouldn’t be doodling it (ha ha or LOL, whichever you prefer, I just can’t help but enjoy my sense of humor when I’m under pressure to write something brilliant). So why is it so difficult for me to sit down and just doodle, like two weeks sooner? Maybe it’s because two weeks ago I was in the midst of Christmas duties and just couldn’t get to it right then. I think that must be it. Time has entered into Twilight Zone warp speed, which makes it impossible to get everything done in a timely and organized fashion. Therefore, late doodling is not in any way my fault.

Isn’t human rationality fun?  It’s so rational and useful in times like this.

Anyway, obviously this isn’t going to be one of those deep and meaningful doodles that you all crave like chocolate-covered-just-about-anythings. I have one of those stewing in a big pot on my mind’s stove, but it’s not ready for consumption yet.  No, this one’s going to be one of those rambling doodles that makes little sense, but uses a plethora of astoundingly cool sounding lexemes (and that dear friends, according to my handy dandy thesaurus is an astoundingly cool sounding word for “words”). So already this month’s installment of desperatelydoodlingdebbie has impacted the world with just that one little tidbit of information. I expect to hear Corbinites (and other -ites when I pass through your towns) waxing eloquently about their newfound love of odd lexemes. My, I feel good about myself at this moment. Just downright lexemically cool. 

You, dear reader, however, may possibly be wondering what on earth has come over your usually pondersome friend, Debbie. Well, let me tell you. I’m just pondered out. What with the time warp and all, my thoughts can’t ponder much these days.  Pondering takes time, and time is money and all my money needs to go towards the national debt and by the time that gets paid off there won’t be any time for pondering. And now I’m a little dizzy from that circular sentence.

Here’s the real deal. I’m about to enter into a euphoric/woebegone state that is sapping all my energy in this present moment. August is upon us (and that’s a near rhyme if ever I heard one, and I have). School will be starting in a week, which means my nannying life is about to become less nannyish with those kids gone for most of the day. It also means my mommy life will soon be a lot less mommyish as my youngest travels out into college land. I’m thrilled for my daughter who will have a spectacular time learning slews of mind-expanding information, befriending breathtaking numbers of fascinating people, and growing into her own beautiful self. I’m sad for me, because it will all be happening without me being right there in the middle of it, as I have been for most of her adventures these past eighteen years.

I just need to wallow in this mother muck for a while longer. Try not to give up on me. Next month, after I’ve procrastinated through the half second it will take to stumble onto the cusp of September, maybe I’ll have something else to talk about.  In fact, I can just about guarantee it. I’m brewing some aromatic sweet, sweet tea on the back burner. Stay tuned!

*By the way, if anyone knows any teens who would like some one-on-one tutoring in the fine art of creative writing, and you’re not too afraid of what might happen to their precious minds, I’m looking for some students for this school year to come join me in the grand adventure of stringing lexemes together into mesmerizing masses of merriment or melancholia, whichever floats their particular boats. We’ll delve into the personal narrative, short story, poetry, one-act play and the all encompassing JOURNALING. This is not free, however, so keep that in mind.  College payments loom over the teacher’s head. Thank you so much.