April 29, 2016

Muster the Maddening Muskoxen!


Reprieve the Restless Rhinoceroses!


Beckon the Baying Bloodhounds!


Alleviate the Alliterative Alpacas!


Yes, it’s that time of year for writing poetry, and all I have in my bag of tricks so far is way too much alliteration. That’s better than the unfortunate NOTHING which has enveloped me for nearly a year now. The arid desert of poetry poopitude desiccates the soul like a forgetful mom leaving the broccoli steaming until it’s a blackened mass of crispy ash to serve her crispy-ash-unappreciative family. And look! Just like that, we have metaphor and simile!! Joy! Unspeakable joy! And also a bit unwriteable, but I’m writing it anyway, so youseunalls just have to git over it and move on with your lives. That’s what I’m attempting to begin this weekend.

Last year’s losses sucked me dry, but I’m determined to drag myself out of the pit and start shoveling it full of good stuff–purposeful writing, reading, wifeing, mothering (from a distance–don’t move in the middle of the night to avoid this, dear daughters!) nannying, friending and relaxing! Get my head on straight and fly crooked if I want to and straight if I must! Pursue my passions! Avoid joy-draining drudgery! (Some discipline may be required to keep the house from being condemned as an endangerment to public health, but that’s all.) Paint my toenails! Stare out the windows of my sunroom until my eyeballs get stuck in perpetual amazement and then go sit on my yard swing! Play with my grandchildren until THEY have to take a nap from sheer exhaustion! Eat chocolate because it’s yummy! Exercise so I can actually get up out of a chair and do the fun stuff! Teach Sunday School like there’s no tomorrow (just in case there isn’t)! Attempt to keep some flowers alive! Make such scintillating conversation my husband will be compelled beyond his naturally silent nature to converse back!! Zip line from one scary spot to another and not wet my pants! And even if I do, laugh like an hysterical hyena!! (Now there’s a conundrum. “A” or “an” before hysterical? “A” sounds funny, but should be correct, but “an” sounds better, so I’m sticking with that. And for those of you who care, [here’s a rather interesting link to explain this odd little grammar stickler.](https://www.grammarly.com/answers/questions/16479-a-or-an/) In conclusion, I plan to continue on using as many exclamation points as I feel so led to do!!!!!! !! !!! !

That’s not my CONCLUSION conclusion. That would be ridiculous. That was just my conclusion to that paragraph. Now that I’m in the mode or the mood, whichever you prefer, I might as well keep on writing. If only I could be as succinct and practical in my Doodle as my daughter Amy is in [her blog posts.](http://amybeth.me) I’m just not the succinct and practical type. Blabbery and goofy is more my speed.

. . . Hours later. I had to get up and take some brownies to church, which broke the newly renewed spell of writing flow. Now I have nothing else to say, other than WHATEVER! Tomorrow I write two poems or fling myself off a cliff!! I hope the poems come to me. That cliff thing sounds painful.

Don’t forget to think on the lovely and noble. Maybe next month I’ll have a puppy or a new car to talk about or a book of poetry available for your purchasing pleasure! It’s almost ready! Unleash the Kuss!